Monthly Archives: October 2010

Stupid thoughts..

I got the urge to do a blog post there so I said I may as well take the opportunity to write a few lines. Having said that, be warned that it’s not going to be a literary masterpiece because all I want to do is ramble on about my bloody thoughts. So boring I know. One of these days I’ll start writing about proper, relevant things that people actually want to read, but until then click here to be brought to my so-called ‘portfolio’ where you can read some semi-proper stuff I wrote. Not like this rambly shite.

I went out last night. ‘Twas a friend’s eighteenth. I love house parties. And it was good craic, because I didn’t know a whole load of people there, which is sometimes better, because it’s like an escape from the usual stuff. It was sorta fancy dress, but I didn’t make much of an effort. I wore a top with a skull on it. I was a skeleton. But to be fair, the majority hadn’t made much effort. I love and loathe fancy dress parties. I hate finding a costume and deciding what to go as, but if you do manage an alright outfit, it’s good for striking up conversations.

Alcohol’s good for that too though. Lose your inhibitions and all that. Box of 24 Miller in Dunnes for eighteen bucks. Recession-busting partying right there. That works out at 75c a bottle! It’s like €4 for one bottle in Centra, which is fucking crazy when you think about it. Bought a lime too. 37c like. Grand.

Came home last night a bit drunk. Fairly drunk. It’s all relative. And because I think I have an internet addiction I ended up on the mighty Facebook around 2am and we all know that’s a bad idea. Nah, I like drunken FB conversations. It’s like the one time that you feel you can talk to anyone and everyone on the bloody thing. Facebook rant coming soon I would think. Anyway, someone was good enough to put up with me and my drunken emotional rambling. One of these days, I’ll have an epiphany during one of those chats. Maybe I have already.

Maybe what I’m gonna say now is all ridiculously obvious, but I’ll say it anyway. I don’t think it’s worth writing about, but I’ve fuck all else to say so this is just going to have to do.

Sometimes you can get sick of those around you. You begin taking people for granted purely because you’ve never had to live without them. Now and then, you might even think that you’d be better off if you just left the past behind and moved forward to a completely new life. But I think I realise that’s wrong, and it’s a pretty idealistic view of life and relationships. It’s not like you can just ‘be’ friends with someone. That’s not friendship. You have to work at it, and get through the good times and the bad. Everyone gets bored, people change, but you just have to learn to accept that and adapt.

I can be a bitch. Wait, I am a bitch. Now and again, I think I’m more important than anyone else. But I don’t mean it. I just appear to think that’s the case, but really, that’s not how I feel at all. Maybe it’s a defence mechanism when I’m not feeling as great and as happy about life as I usually am. Do I try to make myself feel better by distancing myself from those closest to me? That’s not a good plan of action, but I still do it because I want to.

So having established that I need to keep my friends closer than I’m currently doing, I’m also going to say that you need variety. It’s the spice of life, right? I really enjoy nights out with people other than my closest circle of friends, and I think I’m really lucky to have that. Teenagers are so bloody clique-y that they rarely go out to a pub or a club or to a party without at least a few people from their own group. Maybe family’s supposed to provide the other outlet, but I don’t think family compares to friends. They’re just too different.

I actually haven’t a clue where I’m going with this, but I guess that’s what constitutes rambling. God forbid I should ever be coherent.

I give up here. I got a few lines typed and that’s all I wanted to do so I’m happy.

If you got this far, congratulations. You deserve a medal. Or a bun.

Maybe both..


Filed under rambling


That title may make no sense whatsoever to you, but I was just trying to mix things up a bit. And yes, I am aware that that was an extremely innovative and mind-blowing way of doing it. Titles are not my forte.

If you’re still lost, I’m talking about the CAO. Central Applications Office, for those of you lucky enough not to have a clue what those three little letters stand for; three little letters that strike fear into the hearts of sixth years nationwide. I’ve been thinking about what direction I want to go down later in life for a while now. I suppose that’s an obvious statement. In reality, I think that, as children, we’re always thinking about it, even if we don’t realise it. When I was four years old I decided I wanted to be a vet. Nothing else would suffice.

For the next nine years or so I watched every ‘Animal Hospital’, ‘Vets on Call’ and ‘Emergency Vets’ I could find. I dreamed of opening my own surgery and treating every animal that walked, hopped, flew, slid or swam through the door. Truth be told, I did manage to have my own veterinary hospital, where I successfully managed to treat all the stuffed toys I owned. There was a notebook too, where everything was recorded. I took things very seriously, although I did offer free check-ups.. Not sure was that such a good idea..

Fourteen years on, and I wish I was still as sure about my career as I was back then. Between then and now I’ve contemplated teaching, science, pharmacy, medicine, law, Irish, media and probably a lot more I can’t think of right now. The vet phase lasted until I started secondary school, and slowly I started thinking about science of some description. Then at some point, law became a possibility followed by journalism within the last year or two. To sum things up, I haven’t a clue what to do.

Since starting into our final year of secondary education, we’ve been bombarded with prospectuses, guidance sessions, predict-your-points worksheets, entry requirements, UCAS, HPAT, closing dates, open days and university fairs. That big, brown, scary CAO envelope was thrust into my hands all too soon, and things started to seem a bit too real and ‘official’.

My own dilemma is the fact that I am torn between two completely opposite areas. Should I go down the science route? Medicine, pharmacy, veterinary, biomed, biochem? After all, I’m doing both Chemistry and Biology, as well as honours maths, so surely this is the route I should be taking? We’re told it’s the future of our world, the smart economy, it’s where the jobs and the high salaries will be.

Then at the completely opposite end of the spectrum, we have law, journalism and media. Last Saturday, I went to talk upon talk at the UCC open day. Everything was great and interesting and what have you, but when I was listening to that law talk, it was like something clicked. When the lecturer described a law student, it was like she was describing me. When she talked about career opportunities, it was what I wanted to hear. I left UCC completely set on either Law and Irish or Law International. I had found ‘the one’.

Not for long though. The little insecurities slowly started creeping back. Will I like it? Employment opportunities? Is science ‘safer’? Is science more ‘sensible’? Am I really a more scientific person? So we’re back to square one.

After going through all of this, I have two main issues with the CAO system:

1. How are 17 and 18 year olds expected to know what they want to do? I know this has been said a thousand times before, but it’s so, so true that I see no harm in it being said again. The guidance we receive in school is minimal. Proper career guidance should begin well before we need to begin worrying about CAO forms, ideally in third year. I know that 5th year subject choice has affected a lot of people, so Leaving Cert is too late to begin talking about college courses.

2. My main gripe lies with the points system. This, too, is nothing new, but it probably affects me more than number 1. I’ll say it straight. A1 students only do medicine because they can. They do it for the prestige, to show forever that they got 600 points in the Leaving Cert. How in God’s name could they ever contemplate doing something like Arts? Sure, no-one would even know they were intelligent then! Ha! And so, we end up with lots of unhappy students: those doing medicine who wish they were somewhere else, and those who wish they had gotten medicine, whose place was robbed by unhappy student type 1.

Of course there’ll be exceptions. There are many students who get 550+ and do the low-points courses, because they realise it’s all based on supply and demand. But for the vast majority of them, they’ll always feel the need to answer ‘BIS, but I was thinking of doing Pharmacy too..’, when asked what course they’re doing.

Tomorrow I have my careers interview with the guidance counsellor. Let’s hope she can work some magic.

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Filed under Leaving Cert