Monthly Archives: December 2010


One evening a few weeks ago, I went to the fridge, and cut a slice of cheese for myself. It’s one of the foodstuffs that we are pretty much always guaranteed to have in our house. So if I get a craving for a small little snack, I usually decide on cheese, as I’m rarely disappointed. You can even turn it into a meal by melting it in some way. Anyway, I’m going to stop before this turns into a blog post in praise of cheese. The point of this little cheesy anecdote is that I got a pain in my tooth when I ate the cheese. One of my upper molars was just being a bit of a bitch in general, so I reluctantly made an appointment with the dentist for the following afternoon after school.

I have, or at least I had, a completely irrational fear of going to the dentist. I don’t know why, because I’ve never had any bad or painful experiences getting dental treatment, but it’s just one of those things in life that I’d rather didn’t exist. Terrified as I was, in I went after school, iPod in hand in an attempt to distract me from that clinical smell and those strange and slightly eerie sounds. The National soothed my frazzled nerves, as did the cute guy in the waiting room with whom I struck up a nice conversation…

To cut a long(ish) story short, my dentist told me I needed two fillings and to make an appointment for that before Christmas. Which I duly did. The small, cream appointment card stayed pinned at the top of my noticeboard for the past three weeks serving as a constant reminder of the ordeal that was yet to come. At five-fifteen today I wandered in, iPod in hand yet again, but this time I was listening to Holy Fuck. Despite The National’s soothing qualities, I didn’t need to burst into tears in the chair (refer to previous post if this confuses you).

I was fine though, surprisingly enough. I wasn’t nervous. I was getting two fillings, and that was that. I leafed through today’s examiner until he popped his head around the door and told me to come right in.. I didn’t bother with the happy gas that we’d discussed during the previous appointment. I’m so hardcore I don’t need that. The prospect of a needle going into my gum wasn’t hugely appealing I will admit, but I didn’t even feel it after he put some gel on the gum first. Then I had to sit there like a dope while my gum went numb. Hm, that rhymes. I looked at the light overhead, the screen, all the little screwdriver-like pieces of equipment, the plant in the corner, the teensy sink, the posters and on and on.

Cotton wool was stuffed in my mouth; there was water and suction, drilling and cleaning, layer and biting; and finally that funky looking UV light. Despite the fact that I wasn’t nervous – and I swear, I really wasn’t – my legs would not stop shaking. It was really rather embarrassing as he kept asking me ‘how the legs were’. I just couldn’t control them and they were hopping around like nobody’s business. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I would advise crossing your feet, tensing the muscles in your legs, and raising your feet slightly from the chair. But within half an hour, ’twas all done. I walked around like a dope for a while, feeling like my face had doubled in size, as I waited for my dear mother to come and pick me up. I chatted with the nurse, a random woman who came in, and who then left with her drowsy husband. He was so nervous he had to be knocked out, so I’m really rather proud of myself.

Why I had to write this post, I really don’t know. It was not funny, or enlightening, or interesting in any way, shape or form. I think I just had to get it all written down here and recorded, so that if I need another filling, and the dentophobia has returned, I can read back over this and put my mind at ease.

So apologies for initially causing excitement at the prospect of a new blog post from me, only to be let down by the utterly mundane topic. I promise it won’t happen again, eh *cough*..


Filed under health

Since we last spoke..

I’m not going to apologise for talking about my life. It’s all I actually want to write about right now, and you’re here of your own free will so I’m allowed incessantly babble on about myself.

In my last post I think I talked about me feeling rather poorly and how I hoped to make it to The National in Dublin last Friday evening? Yeah well that didn’t happen. And to put it bluntly, it really, really sucks. Bigstyle. There’s not much I can do about it, I know, but it’s realising how close I actually came to seeing them live is what hurts so much.

I’m probably over-reacting. It’s just music, right? Not really though. To most people, Boxer is a couple of good songs by some indie band from Brooklyn. To me though, The National mean a hell of a lot more. Maybe one day I’ll go into it, but not now.

I remember first hearing the rumours that they were coming to Dublin. I was fucking ecstatic. Delirious. It was unbelievable. I was dancing around the house like a headless chicken while my parents looked on in amusement. They understood though. Highs followed lows as the shows sold out, as I managed to get tickets from a friend, as plans got messed up, as plans sorted themselves out, and then the final devastating low last Friday morning when I couldn’t get out of bed.

It didn’t really hit me then. At the time I just felt so shit the last thing I wanted to do was get on a bloody train and traipse around Dublin in the snow. I couldn’t have done it and I wouldn’t have enjoyed it one bit. Today though, on the way home, Bloodbuzz Ohio was mentioned on the radio and immediately I changed channel. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t listen to The National. I couldn’t sit there and let that recording play knowing that I so very nearly heard it live. That moment killed me.

Then I was decorating the Christmas tree earlier and I couldn’t even consider playing Alligator. It sat there in the pile of CDs, but I just couldn’t put it on. No Age, Holy Fuck and Abe Vigoda made up my decorating soundtrack. Not bad, but The National just shoulda been there..

I’ll see them some day, and I know it’ll be worth the wait.

In other news:

  • I had my Irish oral today. Got an A1 (fuckyeah)!
  • Two weeks yesterday ’til my birthday which is exciting!
  • Christmas exams start Thursday which is not exciting.
  • I have a dental appointment on Monday, which may sound like a mundane fact but it is actually a huge event in the life of a dentophobia sufferer.
  • I put up the Christmas tree this evening but plenty of decorating remains to be done.
  • I am going to go to the library tomorrow with Caroline to study for the day. It has been two weeks since I’ve opened a book at home due to my being sick. (Refer to point about Christmas exams)
  • I also hope to get a pair of shoes tomorrow. Grey or black pumps, but a decent pair.
  • I got a lovely, warm, black parka the other day.
  • I currently have a €50 note stuck inside one of my Uggs. I must purchase a harness for the dog tomorrow and I get to keep the change. The harness costs a tenner.
  • I’m tired and I should go to bed (wearing my new pyjama pants!) Good night.

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